The Perfectly Imperfect New Year

Are you Struggling? Why good boundaries can help.

Posted by Emer on May 16, 2020 in Blog | Comments Off on Are you Struggling? Why good boundaries can help.

A lot of problems in life and relationships can stem from boundary issues. When people talk about boundaries they are referring to you and your energy. The defining line between what defines you and what does not belong to you is your boundary. Boundaries tell us what is our business and what is not our business. What we think of ourselves and other people is our business but it is none of our business what others think of us. We cannot control what others feel or say about us. We cannot know if they are honorable people or engage in gossip. We also cannot control the good things that people feel or say about us, how much they appreciate us and how much they love us. That simply is beyond our control and isn’t entirely to do with us as it involves another person and is also about another person’s perception, feelings, their intention, values in life, baggage etc. It is really good to remember this. Ultimately of course we are all one but on a day to day practical level, it is a reality that we all have individual physical bodies and minds and it is important to have good boundaries to have clarity and show respect and honor both ourselves and others.

Healthy boundaries help us to know who we are and what we truly need in life. They help us to have a better sense of separateness from others and to own and take responsibility. Life is best when we are really looking after and honoring our own needs and helping others from a space of sharing and genuine respect for that person. When you care about a person, you take the time to build a relationship with that person. If you help anyone you should do it from an informed and experienced space and you recognize that the person is front of you is an equal: not above you and not below you, equal in importance to you and capable of finding their own solutions in life. When we respect people, we really listen to that person and we get to know them. We don’t listen to hearsay about people. You can only believe what you actually know for a fact to be true about another person. You only know the truth of a person through truly knowing them. The truth is we often dont know what is truly going on for other people and when we presume that we do know, we can often get it wrong. Be mindful of your perception and allow people to truly show you who they are and tell you what they want. Don’t make presumptions in life. What you don’t know, you simply don’t know.

Knowing who we are, what we believe, what we think, feel, like and want means that we keep a firm boundary on who is allowed into our life. It also means that if others actions are less than ideal or less than professional, we can know that this has nothing to do with us and just wish such people a deeper understanding and appreciation of life and focus on our own actions and responsibility.

Healthy boundaries help us to choose relationships that we want to be in as well as let go of those we don’t want to be in. We can step away from someone as we may not feel seen, respected, heard, valued or understood by this person or just may not feel they are a good match for us. Life is short and precious. Make sure to choose who you give your energy to very wisely. If someone doesn’t fit with your energy or make you feel good you can wish them well but we are in no way obliged to spend time with people who we do not feel genuinely wish us well or respect us. Make time to value and cherish the people who love and appreciate you just as you are and who you love just as they are and let the rest go. Our time is very limited in life. We simply don’t have time to waste as its all so precious. If you have to work with someone you don’t have a great affinity with just be respectful, rest into your own energy and keep boundaries clear.

Healthy boundaries come from knowing ourselves well and this offers us great freedom and peace. When we are free to be who we really are, we are better equipped to make our choices rather than someone making them for us. We all have needs. It is important that we know our needs and the needs of others close to us in our lives. We need to be in touch with our feelings, thoughts and desires and to be able to connect with others from a genuine and authentic space.

Healthy boundaries help us to have deep intimacy and authentic joy in our lives, they also bring order into our lives and determine how we will or won’t be treated by others. Boundaries define how far others can or cannot go in their relationship with us. Healthy boundaries empower us to have self-discipline, maturity and strength of character. They can allow us to be quietly confident and yet stand up for ourselves when we need to. Boundaries also teach us responsibilities in all areas of life.

In relation to this recent pandemic, good boundaries are essential for our wellbeing. We have the boundary of very clear governmental advice of social distancing and respecting that advice which has been important to adhere to and which of course we have had no choice but to adhere to. Within that however, we have had the boundary of choosing what we tune into and the boundary of our own wellbeing. Media and Social Media have been riddled with fear about this pandemic. Although it is obviously important to act responsibly and to stick to best practice, it is not healthy or wise however to be constantly bombarding ourselves with news or worrying about illness. Take careful precautions certainly but also trust your body and reassure yourself that you will be fine. Take time to also value simplicity and what you are grateful for. Tune into things that you love and that uplift you along with staying abreast of news if you want to and helping out in whatever way if you can and wish to. We cannot always control what goes on around us but we do have control in how we respond or react to things around us and that makes all the difference.

We also need to have a boundary in relation to sticking to reliable information. There has been a lot of surmising within this situation and certain things are unclear. However at the end of the day life is largely about being the change we want to see so get involved if you feel strongly about certain issues and contribute towards what you feel needs to change if you wish to do that and then let go and relax. So much peace can equally come from acceptance and resting into our own energy and peace. Although we can shine our light within the world and make our own difference in our own way however big or small, we simply cannot control life. As Milton once famously said “Man can make hell of heaven or heaven of hell” and in the book “Mans Search for Meaning”, Viktor E. Frankl, a survivor of the concentration camps, made it clear that he saw both the best and the worst of people within these camps. There was incredible and inexcusable brutality but then also incredible acts of kindness and courage that he witnessed within his friends in these camps. What I’m saying is that regardless of any circumstance we are in, there is always a certain amount of choice into how you are dealing with that situation. This pandemic has been tough but there also have been some positive things that have resulted from it; there is less pollution in the air, people generally have more quality time for themselves, its been a time to transform things about ourselves and grow, some have found time to be grateful for nature, many have realised just how much certain people and groups mean to them etc. When you empower yourself through the choices you have and the things and people you give your energy to, you reap the benefits of change and wellbeing. Enjoy loving and respecting your boundary and the boundaries of others, it can lead you to a deeper appreciation of life, of others and of the current situation we are in.

Email emersselfcareandimmunitycourse@gmail.com to order your copy.

Self Love in Spring- “Plant your own Garden and Decorate your own Soul”

Posted by Emer on February 11, 2020 in Blog | 0 comments

“Don’t Wait for someone to bring you flowers. Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul” Veronica Shoffstall

We can learn a lot from nature. After the stillness of Winter, Spring pushes forth and teaches us all about growth and expansion. Spring is natures unapologetic celebration of life, love and beauty. From the darkest weather, warm delicate moments of hope shine through with the arrival of Spring. For some of us it can be hard to grow and expand. It can be challenging for us to love ourselves or see our unique, distinctive beauty that is our absolute birth right. We may not make time to nurture and appreciate our own inner and outer beauty and value. We may not create good boundaries or fully take care of our needs and as a result other people’s issues can negatively impact upon us.

It isn’t just about getting a few facials to ‘look better’ or being pampered on Valentine’s Day to ‘feel loved’. There is nothing wrong with getting facials or celebrating Saint Valentine’s Day but something much deeper and sustainable is at play in truly loving yourself and finding happiness. It is about you valuing and celebrating (Yes I did say celebrating!) you and others. When you truly learn to appreciate and love yourself, your life changes and your relationship with everyone and everything changes. You gain a power and a strength that is not based on other people’s ‘approval’ but based on you appreciating you and the freedom and happiness that that brings. You can then love yourself and others from a much more authentic space.

My invitation to you this Springtime is to truly find ways to love and honour yourself as well as others Indulge in some self-care and notice the benefit it brings to yourself and your capacity to love others. There are so many ways to do this and I invite you to find fun and enjoyment in the process. For those of you that it might interest, I have a retreat coming up on the 14^th and 15^th of March in the stunning grounds of Slieve Augthy Horse Riding and Organic Eco centre. This retreat is specifically designed to celebrate the joy that you bring to the world through mindful movement, learning the basics of shiatsu massage together, savouring restful meditation and enjoying some poetry, music and beginners dance over the course of the two days. We will also look into some coaching techniques and I will give you some tools to look at your life and see how you best want to go forward to thrive. It’ll be time out to nurture yourself in a breath-taking location with the most delicious organic food fresh from the gardens there. It’ll be an investment in yourself to enjoy good company and enjoy deeply nourishing and fulfilling practices that can bring you huge wellbeing into your life. Long after the effects of the facial has worn off, long after Valentines Day has come and gone nurture yourself enough to find a deep serenity that is ever present and only ever a few breaths away.

“You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming”.

Inspirational Oriental Painting, Qi gong and Shiatsu Retreat

Posted by Emer on December 6, 2019 in Blog | 0 comments

We held a retreat recently that consisted of Oriental painting, qi gong, yoga and shiatsu. This particular style of Oriental painting solely uses black ink and the nuances of black ink. This type of painting is created with spontaneous brushstrokes that represent the present moment and the essence of that which is being painted. The subject matter must really be felt and the mind of the painter must be very relaxed and clear to capture that which they are painting. Such Painters will often go through hundreds of paintings to spontaneously create one in that moment that adequately expresses both the essence of that which they wish to portray and their own mood throughout the process.

Such Painting and Shiatsu share some similarities. Both are based on a meditative state of being very relaxed, clear, connected and focused. They also relate to listening, rhythm, understanding and both focus on the body, good posture and bringing awareness to the body and how one is using the body. This can create beautiful art or a beautiful session with a client where they feel great health benefits and their energy come into flow. Obviously working with a client is a different experience but the similarities are there nonetheless. They both have a relationship to a zen philosophy and I thoroughly enjoy this type of painting in my freetime as a beautiful addition to my own work.

We held a retreat this year on the stunning Beara Peninsula. Our wonderful participants benefited daily from morning yoga/qi gong, Oriental painting sessions, deliciously nourishing food, sea walks, stunning tours of the area to nourish and inspire us creatively and heartfelt music in the evening. It was such a nourishing and uplifting week for us all. There will be more of such workshops and retreats. Just drop me an email to subscribe to my newsletter for details and keep on eye on my website.

All of our participants were so grateful and happy. I will leave you with a couple of comments from participants and how they felt about the retreat:

“The retreat has been amazing. Your Mindful movement classes every morning and shiatsu were such a joy to receive. Your beautiful energy was the perfect start to each day. Oriental painting was brought to life more than I ever could have imagined. We have had such a week of laughter and teasing, being sincere and yet taking ourselves lightly and playfully. I have made rich friendships. My heart is overflowing with happiness and gratitude.” Linda

“It was the most beautiful week of time with you, capped by a deeply nourishing and restorative shiatsu treatment. Thank you so much for your generosity and heart-centered practice with us. You were born to do this work and we were the grateful recipients this week. Long may it continue. Our world needs you! Thank you lovely Emer. You are a star”
Nuala Connolly

“Thank you for your wonderful shiatsu massage on Monday evening. My shoulders and back freed up with renewed energy. Love your energy and special grace. I look forward to the next one!” Karen Neylon

“I really enjoyed your wonderful yoga,/qi gong wake up in the morning. The shiatsu was tailored to my needs with great care and respect. You have lovely energy from your hands. I’m feeling very grateful” Mary Roddy

The Strength of Snowdrops – Springtime tips to nourish your liver.

Posted by Emer on February 21, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

My first memory of Spring is very clear in my mind. I was about four and beside my Granny who was showing me her snowdrops in the garden. She loved to explain things to me. ‘These are Plúiríní sneachta (the Irish word for snowdrops) Emer’ she said. ‘They mark the end of harsh Winter and the beginning of beautiful Springtime. They look fragile and like pretty little drops of snow but make no mistake Emer- every Spring they push forth up out of the hard Winter ground. They are a very strong little flower’. I love this memory of my Granny and of Spring. Even as a child I knew at that moment she was telling me something important. She was a very strong lady, a wonderful School teacher, mother of five, cook and gardener. I remember coming back to her house as an adult (she had long since passed away) and being so pleasantly surprised to see that her snowdrops were still thriving

Nature is a great teacher and in that simple interaction between me and my granny, I learnt about Spring and that appearances can be deceptive when a fragile looking little flower like a snowdrop is one of the first things to push through the harsh winter ground without failure year after year. Lao Tzu the Chinese philosopher commented that softness triumphs over hardness and spoke about the importance of adaptation. I think its really important to remember that in relation to ourselves and others, truly it is through softness, being flexible at times and really giving ourselves time to blossom that we overcome any obstacles in life and ensure that we go on to thrive.

Spring is my favourite time of year. All of nature feels like it is truly alive and saying one, big ‘yes’ to the world. Spring in Chinese medicine terms is a real time of growth and expansion. It’s a time when we transition from rested life force to releasing our energy more outwardly once more. The organ associated with Spring is the liver. The liver in Chinese medicine terms is the organ that oversees the entire system within the body and it also has the task of storing and renewing blood. The livers co-ordinating action is expressed through the nervous system and affects the neurons and chemical messangers. Psychologically, the liver nourishes us towards the realization of our full potential. It is associated with anger and creativity which, chanelled in positive ways, can help us to push through difficulty giving determination and energy. Healthy assertiveness nourishes the liver so that we can be determined without being a bulldozer and easygoing without being a doormat.

Exercise, stretching and walking is great for our liver as is martial arts which is wonderful for relaxation and channelling anger in positive ways. Creativity and flexibility also nourishes our liver. My favourite creative practices are dance, writing and painting. I allow myself a free relationship with them and to really enjoy the process of what I do when I do it. They nourish me and my life force. Creativity is such a nourishing and powerful force and can certainly help one embrace ones full potential and embrace the joy of being alive.

Food wise sour foods such as lemons nourish the liver. Sour foods stimulate tissues in contraction and releasing toxins from the body. Dark green foods which combine mild sourness with blood nourishing qualities are also very supportive for the liver. A liver detox around this time of year can be excellent for our gallbladder and liver.

Enjoy this time of growth, expansion and the sensual deliciousness of nature this time of year. Let it all put a beautiful “spring” in your step. Give me a call if you have any health issues at the moment that you would like help with or if you would just like to enjoy some lovely shiatsu and support your health this time of year.

Posted by Emer on January 8, 2018 in Blog | 0 comments

I went on a meditation retreat this New Years with the intention of really nourishing myself in the here and now, giving thanks, getting clear on how I want to move forward and sharing time with others who have a practice of and really value meditation. I wished to embrace and welcome the year forward in a serene, authentic, relaxed and positive way. I had done a New Years retreat previously and found I embraced the New Year feeling so fresh and clear in myself. I definitely intend to make it a habit going forward in my life- it is such a beautiful way to embrace the year ahead.

Meditation is about welcoming the present moment, being alive and awake to what is, embracing it with as much acceptance and non-judgment as possible. Things are how they are or ‘this is it’ as meditation teaches us. Often in life our suffering can come from not accepting situations or people as they are, reacting and wishing things were different. It is understandable that certain situations will be more pleasant than others and therefore will be viewed more favorably by us. However, a practice of acceptance and trying to make peace with whatever situation we find ourselves in can offer a great source of serenity.

Of course there will be things in our lives that we wish to change and need to change but sometimes the sheer acceptance of what is or how people are-even if its challenging, of really embracing what is can offer a profound shift in our consciousness that is in itself deeply transformative and can make change easier. We are not accepting things to look to transform them however, we are accepting things to learn how to calmly embrace whatever happens in life and nourish our serenity. Certain things in life are within our control and certain things are beyond our control. Sometimes in life difficult moments can be accompanied by very happy moments or happy moments can be accompanied by sadness. Learning to accept and not to react but how to respond can offer a profound sense of wellbeing. It is wise in life to make peace with whatever is in order to be happier in the now.

Practicing deep self-compassion is a source of peace both for yourself and others. Self-compassion is not about accepting and loving yourself because you are ‘perfect’ or because you have achieved certain things or you are talented in different ways or because certain people like you or because you do a lot for other people…. self-compassion is about embracing ourselves just as we are with both our qualities and our flaws whatever the circumstances. Self-compassion is about accepting yourself even when you don’t feel like doing that, it is about embracing all of your emotions and how you are just as you are.

I really trust people with a lot of self-compassion. When you can have great compassion for yourself, you can have great compassion for others. When peoples own self-compassion is nurtured and can extend to others- it is incredibly healing for all. Practice of such self-compassion can enable us to offer others compassion easily, even to those who we may have an issue with for whatever reason. Self-kindness, knowing that everyone is imperfect and that is part of our shared humanity (sorry perfectionists no you are not perfect and you don’t need to be) and mindfulness are the three main components of self-compassion. Self-compassion doesn’t say I’ll love you when you are like this, when you are ‘perfect’ and when you have achieved this and behave like this…self compassion says I love you just the way you are. Such love is incredibly strengthening and really builds your resilience in life. Self-compassion says whatever may come in life even when I’m finding it challenging to love myself- I will still commit to loving myself. Self-compassion says I’m not afraid of others flaws because I’m not afraid of my own flaws. Self-compassion says what can I do to help? How can I support you? Rather than how can I change you. This is very healing. Self-compassion is more about just being yourself and letting others fully be who they are, loving them in a way that they feel fully seen and free rather than feeling the need to ‘fix’ anything. Self-compassion is about authenticity not pretense. When you can fully bring acceptance to yourself or others- that enables a beautiful allowing, blossoming and unfolding. It allows truth to shine forth. This is so strengthening, healing and such a blessing.

The whole retreat was incredibly nourishing. I feel so grateful and I am embracing the New Year in such a positive way with a renewed and deep compassion for both myself and others. Offer yourself deep self-compassion, non-judgment and notice how you feel in yourself this year going forward. Yes this also means loving the parts of yourself that you have deemed ‘unloveable’ for whatever reason. In accepting ourselves just as we are even if we might find that challenging, we bring great peace to ourselves and to what is. If the therapies I offer might be of any assistance to you in your journey towards self compassion- I’m here for you and just a phone call away. Every blessing for the New Year ahead and don’t forget to believe in your unique magic as a person. Your unique presence here in this world cannot ever be replicated or repeated. Don’t ever forget that -you are here to live your truth. You don’t need to be anyone else but yourself. You don’t need to look for the acceptance of anyone else- you just need first and foremost to accept yourself. There is such peacefulness in the acceptance of the perfectly imperfect and ourselves just as we are. Life isn’t perfect, we are not perfect and that is ok. Things are how they are and its good to find peace with that. Never forget to be beautiful, be yourself and that you are such a gift to this world. Let your self compassion shine.

Some tips for Self Care and Self Compassion
-Take time to tune into your needs and to give yourself what you need.

-Take time to tune into ourselves during the day to tune into and be nourished by our breath.

-Take time to tune into your own suffering, place your hands on your heart and allow yourself to be nourished by your breath as you hold that suffering with love, almost as you would hold a crying baby. A crying baby needs to be loved unconditionally, cared for and soothed. Bring complete acceptance to your suffering and to yourself knowing that we are all perfectly imperfect and lovable just as we are.

-Take time to dream a bit and think about things that bring you joy and really nourish your heart. Do those things. When you are a source of joy to yourself, you are a source of joy to the world and you will naturally want to extend this joy out to others in a loving way not out of a space of obligation or people pleasing.

-We can be very talented in life at imagining the worst outcome to things. Dare to let yourself dream and visualize the best possible outcome to things. Bring lots of light and love into that visualization. Do that visualization a few times a day and call it to mind before going to bed at night so that your subconscious is nourished by it.

-Please find some information below about two talks I am giving on Stress Reduction in Galway. You are most welcome to come along- just email to book:

Talk on Stress Reduction and Shiatsu
Dr.Clare’s Clinic, 9 Sea Road, Galway.
January 18th at 7.00pm
Email: emulla8888@gmail.com to book
Website: http://www.soulfulliving.ie

Free Talk on Stress Reduction,
56 Central Restaurant
5 Shop Street,
January 25th at 7.00pm
Tel: 087 1910992
Email: emulla8888@gmail.com to book
Website: http://www.soulfulliving.ie

Nourishing Ourselves During Winter- The Wisdom of Water.

Posted by Emer on December 5, 2017 in Blog, Uncategorized | 0 comments

This time of year in Shiatsu and Chinese medicine terms is linked to the element of water. It is a time to find ways to really replenish, rest and gently stimulate ourselves in nurturing ways during the colder weather. The organs associated with water are the kidney and the bladder. Kidney energy would be seen to be strongest during the winter months. The kidney is the source of both yin and yang in the body-that balance between control, stillness and going with the flow. The kidneys in Chinese medicine terms are considered the foundation for good health and vitality, essentially the root of everything. Kidneys are responsible for fluid balance, waste elimination, regulation of blood PH and mineral balance. They also play an important role in red blood cell production. Kidneys govern life force in the body- our drive and our motivation for life. Kidney energy in shiatsu terms is related to survival, reproduction and curiosity. This energy goes towards life and people who are full of life and are quite driven generally have strong kidney energy. This is a good thing as long as it is really balanced with rest so we don’t burn out. Too much stimulation of the kidneys without balance over time can lead to adrenal fatigue. We learn so much from both stillness and movement. Life is all about balance.

When kidney energy is healthy and in flow, life feels adventurous, spontaneous and we can embrace the energy of the now with curiosity and openness. If we feel anxious in some way, we will deplete our kidney energy so it is important to deal with our inner fears so we don’t block spontaneity. Face your fears to overcome them. The book ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’ is worth recommending. Blocking spontaneity blocks kidney energy and embracing spontaneity and playfulness by not taking life too seriously, being lighthearted, finding things that we love and bring us joy supports our kidneys. Keeping a perspective on things keeps kidney energy healthy and flowing. There is a sense of going with the flow, which is what water does. When we have healthy energy, it’s a bit like a river flowing… we move along and embrace change. The river may have slower, stiller points or points with more movement but it always embraces change and goes towards the sea- this is the nature of our lives and a good metaphor for it. If a river becomes too stagnant or gets too stuck, that can result in a lot of stagnant, murky energy and is when illness occurs. As we age, weakened kidneys will result in reduced energy, declining hormone levels, impaired brain function, bone weakness, hearing loss, loose teeth, weakened immunity, tissue dryness and diminishing will power. It is so important to nourish our kidney energy at every stage of our lives and keep them strong. Signs of a weakened kidney energy would be diabetes, high blood pressure, obstruction of urine flow and other kidney diseases.

Things that lead to kidney problems are things like poor diet, poor exercise and exposure to certain toxins. We nurture our kidney energy by getting a good balance between rest and activity. The adventure of stimulation and movement, which is linked to our kidney yang energy, needs to be balanced with kidney yin, which is nourished through stillness, resting, being kind and loving to yourself and avoiding overstimulation. This balances kidney energy and maintains good health. Kidney energy is most expressed in our bones and in our teeth. Kidney energy is also linked to the health of our knees and our pelvis. When we have good kidney energy, our reactions are quick and our energy is abundant and free. Tuning into our kidneys throughout the day and seeing how they feel, bringing a calming breath and love to them and also placing a hot water bottle or nicely warmed hands on our kidneys and sending them lots of love and care and visualizing them as being plump and healthy is also incredibly nourishing and supportive for our kidneys.

To nourish the kidneys from a nutritional perspective we need a wide and varied diet in particular foods that come from the water element such as fish or seaweed and seeds. Salty flavored foods generally nourish the kidneys along with dark coloured foods such as black or red beans. Other foods that nourish our kidneys are Miso, cultured vegetables, millet and dark green leafy vegetables. This time of year it is important to eat warm and really nourishing foods, things like hearty, homemade soups, stews etc. are really supportive of our body during the colder months. Too much raw food when it is cold outside in Chinese medicine terms is seen to be very demanding of our body and can deplete our energy, which only makes sense. Get a good balance, warm yourself up and nurture your kidneys. You deserve to give yourself that loving care.

Make yourself a priority and experience more wellbeing

Posted by Emer on September 8, 2016 in Blog | 0 comments

“Every day the world will drag you by the hand yelling, “This is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!” And each day it’s up to you to yank your hand back put it on your heart and say, “No. This is what’s important.”

I really love this quote of Iain Thomas. Our hearts and our truth are completely invaluable but we can at times be disconnected from that realisation. How often in life do we let ourselves be influenced by others opinions rather than to be true to what our hearts really desire? How often in life do we care more about what others think than what we ourselves think and value? How often in life are our decisions governed by ‘the latest trends’ or what ‘everyone else is doing’ and not by what our heart’s truly desire? How often in life do we limit ourselves saying ‘I couldn’t do that’, ‘I’m too busy to make changes’, ‘its too late to do anything about it’ and whatever else our mind will come up with. Its good to know we can listen and accept what the mind will come up with, but we don’t have to believe or feed into it- what a relief!

In life, there will always be so many things that you can make so much more important than you: the car needs to be serviced, your boss needs that report, that bill that needs to be sorted, the house needs to be tidied, friends want to see you, your in-laws feel neglected, your partner needs help, we need to watch the news, we need to help others….

I’m not saying these things are not important or valid. We do need to take responsibility and do what needs to be done but what I am saying is that finding time to tune into yourself, listen to your heart and looking after yourself is first and foremost- the most important thing. If we don’t make space for ourselves, if we don’t make what we truly desire a priority, we can end up feeling so drained or fall ill. Doing things we don’t really want to do or to people please causes suffering. When we are tuning into our hearts and ourselves more, we are operating less from a ‘headless chicken’ reactive space and more from a centered heart ‘this is what I really want and choose to do’ space. The energy is completely different. We tune into our peace, relax and life becomes much clearer and easier.

In general in life I have found when I stop trying to do so much, I get so much more done. Less is really more and its great to get really clear and focus. We can choose to make the most important things to us a priority and the rest? Well, it can wait or you might choose to let it go entirely. You are in your power and authenticity when you are in tune with yourself and your needs and can make decisions from that space with more clarity and honesty. That is best for all.

When you are true to yourself, you are true to everyone and when you are happy in yourself, you generally are a greater source of genuine happiness to others too. From this space, we can reach out to others in more authentic and loving ways. From this space, helping others is more of a joy and not a burden. The impact we can have on another’s life is without a doubt such an incredibly beautiful thing to experience and I personally feel one of the richest experiences in life. However, when we realise the importance of looking after ourselves, we know how important it is to fill our own cup before filling another’s cup.

We will always need to ‘chop wood and carry water’ in life but how we are doing this, our approach to life and who we are doing this with can make a huge difference. From a centered and honest space of taking a little bit of time out to tune into ourselves and come back into balance, we can make much better decisions and can come back to what we know in our hearts truly matters to us. The irony is, this is not time lost- its a huge amount of valuable time gained. We might increasingly find then that we are not doing things then out of fear or obligation or a need to people please…we are doing them because we want to do them. We are not doing things and then wondering why are we doing them or complaining about having to do them, we are being coherent in what we do, say and in how we act and learning from life as we go along.

We experience more serenity towards the things we simply cannot change, we can let certain things go and take more action around the things we can change. I personally find that generally in life when we are clear in our intention- life is clear with us. We can stop wasting our energy doing things we don’t want to do or worrying about things that in the bigger scale of things, really don’t matter at all. Life is short and very precious. Don’t limit yourself or your dreams. We are all one at the end of the day but your specific energy is unique to you and who you are and how you express yourself is a gift to the world and completely invaluable. Its so important to remember that.

Its your job to make you your priority- no-one else can do it for you. When you are making yourself a priority and truly tuning into what your heart wants- life is different. In order to operate at our peak, just like athletes we need to feed and nurture our whole selves, not just the part that works and makes money or that minds others. By doing so we will solve challenges more effectively, be more inspired, produce better results and generally feel happier in life. Its not always easy to makes oneself a priority. It doesn’t happen instantly just by clicking your fingers but there are wellbeing tools and people that can help you empower yourself more.

Don’t get too busy making a living that you forget to embrace you, your heart and your life

Posted by Emer on March 24, 2016 in Blog | 0 comments

Don’t get too busy making a living that you forget to embrace you, your heart and your life. In a society that constantly tries to convince us we need to be more, buy more, work more, fight more, do more- its understandable that many of us can feel less than adequate, others the need to be so ‘busy’ or some left with the need to prove themselves. In a world where we are fed photos of models that are air-brushed, bums or breasts that are padded or liposcutioned, where skin can be whitened or sprayed with fake tan, where the latest celebrity gossip or trashy novel is celebrated and glorified, where its more about image and distraction and less about what we truly feel and value-its understandable that at times we can feel a bit lost or frustrated. In a world where we are constantly given messages of how to be ‘better’, sometimes we can feel not good enough. All of that does not give us the deeper nourishment that our hearts deserve and desire but it is possible for us to give that to ourselves.

We are often conditioned to think more about what others think of us than what we think of ourselves, sometimes valuing more what we do for others and forgetting ourselves in the process. What is important about this? We rob ourselves of something important in the process- the ability to get real about what it is we truly need and to give that to ourselves and others from a more authentic and loving space. Don’t most of us want an authentic life where we can fully be themselves and truly valued? In order to have this we can firstly begin to fully accept and value ourselves as we are.

Ram Dass once said ‘Your problem is that you are too busy holding on to your unworthiness’. The truth of it is that we can accept ourselves just as we are with our perfections and imperfections and know that we are worthy. It takes a lot of courage to authentically love yourself, say ‘enough’ to the world, call bullshit at times, press the pause button and take time to truly value and come home to you and your heart. It is so important to make our hearts a place of resting and to have faith and believe in our hearts and their unique desires and expression. Why would you and that be any less important that everyone and everything else? Is that a truth or something you have chosen to be your current truth? What if you were to call for a beautiful revolution of self love, kindness and self compassion that you can give to both yourself and others and let ripple out into the world?

Its not about living in an idealistic bubble but equally its not about constantly feeling the need to tune into everyone and everything or to bombard ourselves with the problems of the world, the latest news, the latest trend or feel that we need to be all things to all people. Our society and media can often be fear based but that doesn’t mean that we have to be. We can connect with both ourselves and others in more authentic and loving ways. We can connect with ourselves and our community in more authentic and loving ways. We can both love ourselves and take the responsible actions we choose to within society and choose what is right for us. Sometimes the best thing we can do is to truly tune into ourselves. In this space of intimacy we create a holding field for whatever it is that we are feeling. There could emotions there like grief, loneliness, heartbreak or confusion. Create a space of love, non-judgment and acceptance for the un-met in ourselves and honour that. In doing this we allow ourselves great self-compassion and the love we need. That acceptance changes everything. It allows us to be real and to honestly love ourselves and extend that love to others from a more authentic place.

Within this sanctuary of the heart and body we can find true tenderness and kindness for ourselves and bring compassion to both our weakness and our strengths. They are what make us human and whole. We are here to experience all things. It was once said that if you realize you have enough, you realize that you are truly rich. There is great strength in accepting who you are, just as you are. We can live in the here and now and accept the gift of being alive. Even though at times we may not realize it, there is always something to be grateful for. As Thich Nhat Hanh wonderfully said ‘if you feel there is nothing to be grateful for- check your pulse’.

Take a deep breath and relax-where is your focus lying? On what you do or don’t want in your life? What if we were to dare to begin to truly listen to and value our hearts? What If we were not to accept anyone’s definition of our life but instead to define and celebrate ourselves as we are now and in our becoming? We can accept ourselves as we are and go towards what our hearts truly desire.

Our relationship with ourselves is reflected in our relationship with others and with the world in general. Let love for yourself be unconditional and don’t allow yourself to be pushed around by your problems, but instead to be led by your dreams and your heart. Now and again it is good to pause in the pursuit of happiness and being ‘enough’ and know that in truth we are already enough. Certainly there may be things we wish to change and there are many different ways we can do this but we can do that all with more ease when we begin to fully and truly accept ourselves. Self- acceptance and love leads to many great things. Peace starts with us and if you do not feel peaceful it is possible to change that. One of the first steps towards that is acceptance.

Your ability to love those around you is only as good as your ability to love yourself. Lets give ourselves a space to put down any feelings of inadequacy and celebrate who we are as we are. As Tracy Chapman says in her song, ‘If not now, then when?’ Our lives are short and we are all very precious.

How wrong is it for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself?

Posted by Emer on March 8, 2016 in Blog | 0 comments

Love, love, love these wise and powerful words of the wonderful Anaïs Nin.

“How wrong is it for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself?
Whether a woman is married, has a partner, single, divorced, a mother, has no children or whatever other ‘category’ you want to put a woman into….how true and valid are these words for all of us.

Happy International Women’s Day to all. Love and gratitude for all women everywhere. Lets live our lives with the knowing that every day is or can be ‘Women’s Day’ if we make that choice. What a wonderful gift women are to the world. As my Dad who won the Oireachtas twice for his beautiful Irish poetry once said in his poem celebrating the women of Ireland: Women are ‘illuminating the world until the end of time.’

Enjoy celebrating the woman that you are in whatever way you can. It’s not anyone else’s job to make you a priority- it’s yours. Love yourself just the way you are.

The end of summer doesn’t have to mean the end of sunshine in our lives…

Posted by Emer on August 24, 2015 in Blog | 0 comments

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The end of summer doesn’t have to mean the end of sunshine in our lives….

As the days get shorter and the cold, dark evenings approach, we may feel less energy and our sleep may be affected. We may have difficulty concentrating or making decisions. Some of us dread going back to work and begin to feel unwell.

However, the end of summer doesn’t have to mean the end of sunshine in our lives.The truth is our inner sunshine is accessible whatever the circumstances. I will be taking clients from September onwards. I look forward to helping your light shine more brightly. Yes, you are most definitely worth it.