Don’t get too busy making a living that you forget to embrace you, your heart and your life
Don’t get too busy making a living that you forget to embrace you, your heart and your life. In a society that constantly tries to convince us we need to be more, buy more, work more, fight more, do more- its understandable that many of us can feel less than adequate, others the need to be so ‘busy’ or some left with the need to prove themselves. In a world where we are fed photos of models that are air-brushed, bums or breasts that are padded or liposcutioned, where skin can be whitened or sprayed with fake tan, where the latest celebrity gossip or trashy novel is celebrated and glorified, where its more about image and distraction and less about what we truly feel and value-its understandable that at times we can feel a bit lost or frustrated. In a world where we are constantly given messages of how to be ‘better’, sometimes we can feel not good enough. All of that does not give us the deeper nourishment that our hearts deserve and desire but it is possible for us to give that to ourselves.
We are often conditioned to think more about what others think of us than what we think of ourselves, sometimes valuing more what we do for others and forgetting ourselves in the process. What is important about this? We rob ourselves of something important in the process- the ability to get real about what it is we truly need and to give that to ourselves and others from a more authentic and loving space. Don’t most of us want an authentic life where we can fully be themselves and truly valued? In order to have this we can firstly begin to fully accept and value ourselves as we are.
Ram Dass once said ‘Your problem is that you are too busy holding on to your unworthiness’. The truth of it is that we can accept ourselves just as we are with our perfections and imperfections and know that we are worthy. It takes a lot of courage to authentically love yourself, say ‘enough’ to the world, call bullshit at times, press the pause button and take time to truly value and come home to you and your heart. It is so important to make our hearts a place of resting and to have faith and believe in our hearts and their unique desires and expression. Why would you and that be any less important that everyone and everything else? Is that a truth or something you have chosen to be your current truth? What if you were to call for a beautiful revolution of self love, kindness and self compassion that you can give to both yourself and others and let ripple out into the world?
Its not about living in an idealistic bubble but equally its not about constantly feeling the need to tune into everyone and everything or to bombard ourselves with the problems of the world, the latest news, the latest trend or feel that we need to be all things to all people. Our society and media can often be fear based but that doesn’t mean that we have to be. We can connect with both ourselves and others in more authentic and loving ways. We can connect with ourselves and our community in more authentic and loving ways. We can both love ourselves and take the responsible actions we choose to within society and choose what is right for us. Sometimes the best thing we can do is to truly tune into ourselves. In this space of intimacy we create a holding field for whatever it is that we are feeling. There could emotions there like grief, loneliness, heartbreak or confusion. Create a space of love, non-judgment and acceptance for the un-met in ourselves and honour that. In doing this we allow ourselves great self-compassion and the love we need. That acceptance changes everything. It allows us to be real and to honestly love ourselves and extend that love to others from a more authentic place.
Within this sanctuary of the heart and body we can find true tenderness and kindness for ourselves and bring compassion to both our weakness and our strengths. They are what make us human and whole. We are here to experience all things. It was once said that if you realize you have enough, you realize that you are truly rich. There is great strength in accepting who you are, just as you are. We can live in the here and now and accept the gift of being alive. Even though at times we may not realize it, there is always something to be grateful for. As Thich Nhat Hanh wonderfully said ‘if you feel there is nothing to be grateful for- check your pulse’.
Take a deep breath and relax-where is your focus lying? On what you do or don’t want in your life? What if we were to dare to begin to truly listen to and value our hearts? What If we were not to accept anyone’s definition of our life but instead to define and celebrate ourselves as we are now and in our becoming? We can accept ourselves as we are and go towards what our hearts truly desire.
Our relationship with ourselves is reflected in our relationship with others and with the world in general. Let love for yourself be unconditional and don’t allow yourself to be pushed around by your problems, but instead to be led by your dreams and your heart. Now and again it is good to pause in the pursuit of happiness and being ‘enough’ and know that in truth we are already enough. Certainly there may be things we wish to change and there are many different ways we can do this but we can do that all with more ease when we begin to fully and truly accept ourselves. Self- acceptance and love leads to many great things. Peace starts with us and if you do not feel peaceful it is possible to change that. One of the first steps towards that is acceptance.
Your ability to love those around you is only as good as your ability to love yourself. Lets give ourselves a space to put down any feelings of inadequacy and celebrate who we are as we are. As Tracy Chapman says in her song, ‘If not now, then when?’ Our lives are short and we are all very precious.