Does life feel difficult? Seeking New Direction? 6 Helpful Practices in Navigating into newness.
A dear friend of mine loves to say “nothing forced in life really works…nor should it”. As much as we want certain things in life and as much as we can come into any situation in life with a good intention, some things in life are for us and some simply aren’t and you can only let go and bring acceptance to that. The sea may glimmer in the sunshine and the destination seems crystal clear but sometimes you discover that the boat isn’t as reliable as you thought and has gone largely off course. Perhaps there are holes and water clearly entering. You have the option of staying in the boat in denial and watching it eventually sink and perhaps taking you with it or you may end up having to take action and swim to the shore. There is an Irish expression which says “Is fada an bothar gan casadh” which translates into English as “It’s a long road if there is no turn in it”. This expression suggests that the twists and turns in life ultimately are part of our life. Although most of us like plain sailing (I certainly do!), it would also be be quite boring if it was all a completely straight road. There are different boats and different things that are part of our journey and certain things that aren’t meant to last. We are wise to bring acceptance to that. Difficult times can ultimately lead us into more depth, fulfillment and deeper meaning. Its important to be open to that. Let’s consider some of the things that can help when the road takes a turn….
FIND BALANCE
It’s wise to step out of things that take more of your energy than they give you, if at all possible, as unsurprisingly they are ultimately damaging to your health and wellbeing. Life can be easier and happier with more authenticity and simplicity. If you have known more happiness in life and don’t need complications, why settle for less? Really weigh up what you are actually gaining in certain situations versus what you are losing and see if the balance is in sync or out of sync. The only way to change your life is to change yourself and yes even with all of this Covid situation that is possible. I find coaching in particular great for clearly looking at what is and isn’t really benefitting you in your life, what you really want and making the relevant changes. Don’t wait for Covid to be over to get on with enjoying your life, you might really regret wasting precious time. Time and your life is always precious.
LET GO OF REGRETS
We can also be redirected in life through things beyond our control, especially in the current climate. Perhaps you have lost your job, have been forced to relocate, have challenging and unseen things happening with your children etc. Rather than get into stories or staying stuck in regret in relation to the choices made, rather than ask why certain things happen, its best to console yourself with the knowing that when you have been honest, sincere and done your best in any situation, you have nothing to ever regret. Certain things are beyond our control. It’s about moving on then and redirecting your energy in a way that serves you. Try not to dwell on things too much.We learn something from every experience. It’s important to be ultimately grateful for everything we go through (after honestly processing the disappointment, hurt, annoyance etc.) because the truth is most of the time (although of course there are always exceptional circumstances), whatever we go through difficult or easy, opens our heart to something deeper and to a deeper knowing and redirects our energy to come into more alignment with our values if we truly want and are open to that. Life is about intention and action and they will always save you they say if it’s honourable and I suppose the opposite is also true. Difficulties and obstacles can make you realise just how strong you are. They can strengthen your compassion for self and others so it’s not all negative. Difficult times can make us both stronger and more openhearted. That is a possibility not to close yourself off from. I find both shiatsu and coaching wonderful for letting go of regrets and moving forward. Distance shiatsu deals with the letting go at a body level and in relation to your energy field whereas coaching works more on the practical level of letting go, planning and moving forward towards what brings you joy in life.
HONOUR YOUR HEART
It’s important to honour your heart, your emotions and how you feel, essentially your GPS in life. You have to accept and look after your emotions 100% in relation to anything. It’s simply not healthy when you deny emotions or do not process emotions properly. When you deny one emotion, you are cutting yourself off from the others and from your own sincerity, authenticity and ability to feel pleasure and joy. Trying to “Spiritually bypass things” or to “just be positive”, or adhering to cult based ideologies where everything is “100% perfect, 100% positive and 100% abundant in life” is not really a solution or realistic as life is a mixture of things. Its good to have the ability to be with it all both in yourself and in others. Its good to find your own balance, equilibrium, serenity, solutions and come into wholeness. Be discerning and reclaim your own authentic power. Coaching or shiatsu can be such a wonderful support within this. When you deny emotions you create imbalance in your body & mind that will catch up with you sooner or later. Its ok to be honest with yourself and others and to really honour your heart which is a wonderful knowing teacher that leads you towards what you really need.
BE AUTHENTIC
There is nothing to fear in being authentic and true to yourself, in fact quite the opposite because it allows you to truly process things, to stand authentically, to really live and value your own truth which is unique to you alone and for energy to flow more wholly. There is something really empowering and freeing about totally claiming and standing in your own energy. You can truly love yourself then in a much deeper way. You can connect with others then in deeper way and with more compassion and understanding rather than preaching platitudes of “just be happy”, which is a nice sentiment but just doesn’t address individual needs or specific circumstances. Your authenticity and who you truly are is invaluable. You didn’t come here to be anyone else but you and you are not here to live up to others expectations. It takes courage and honesty to really live your truth but your deepest gems are gained in opening up to what is truly present and knowing that all is ok. This allows every emotion to be accessible and to flow and means you aren’t numbing yourself or lying to yourself in any way. Don’t let anything drag you down or bring you too much complexity. Such things just aren’t healthy. Let go of what does not serve you.
In the light of love, nothing is ever really going wrong so much as things are learning experiences and telling us more about what works for us and what really does not work for us. It’s all learning. You have every right to assert yourself and your needs in life, to redirect your energy at any moment you choose, to put it where it is more valued and honoured. Life is just too short for anything less.
VALUE YOUR OWN TRUTH
Sometimes we can be held back in our redirections by others. Look, anyone can have their opinion about you, your life and what you should and shouldn’t do, how you should and shouldn’t be. Anyone can think they know something about you. The truth is no-one knows what is intimately going on in your life and what is best for you but you. It’s called “your life” for a reason. It doesn’t belong to anyone else. Live your truth and care more about what you think, feel and need first and foremost. Asking yourself frequently exactly what you need and honouring what you need can be a very healing and strengthening practice and is a wonderful muscle to really strengthen. Shiatsu is largely based on listening to and fulfilling your needs. Sometimes people can become trapped in situations because “what would people think?” or “Everyone else seems to content themselves as they are, I can’t be the only one making changes. I’m too old for that…”. Such thoughts are imprisoning and do not serve you in any way. Let them go and liberate yourself. Life is too short for anything less. Coaching can be wonderfully empowering in you liberating yourself and moving forward in the best way possible.
Console yourself with the knowing that first and foremost the person whose opinion of you matters the most is you. We all like to be liked and appreciated and to like and appreciate others, however not to the extent of being imprisoned by the weight of others judgement or misperceptions. Are you going to imprison yourself because of what some people might potentially think or because you are afraid of certain friends judging you? In that case what type of friends/acquaintances are they? Are they really worth knowing and is such a friendship/acquaintance truly worth conserving? Heart-based friendships and relationships where you truly feel nourished and accepted for exactly who you are worth so much more than pretence. Allow yourself freedom to be beautiful and be yourself.
MAKE DIFFERENT CHOICES
Bringing newness into your life is easier when you let yourself be free in your choices. Know that letting go of anything is always difficult but it is essential to let go of things that do not serve us; this could be a friendship, a job, a situation or a romantic relationship. Sometimes we also do not have a choice in the matter. It’s not always easy to let go, but it’s important and part of life. You always have other choices and options. Sometimes it’s about looking at something from a different perspective. Be brave in being authentically you. The rewards can be great, life can open up once more to new possibilities. The price is worth paying if you want that. It’s not always easy but it’s always worth it to be a shade braver and more authentic. You can really live your truth then in a way that feels satisfying. You can look back on your life then and your choices and be proud knowing that you lived in a way that really honoured your truth and you were a first rate version of yourself not a second rate version… of anything else! Therein lies gold. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone just rest into your beauty, presence, serenity, happiness and knowing and let that joy and goodness spread out into the world and flow beautifully into your relationship with life. The support of things such as distance shiatsu and coaching can be really invaluable in navigating into newness successfully.
OFFERINGS
CURRENTLY AVAILABLE
Health & Wellbeing Coaching over Zoom.
Online Shiatsu Sessions.
I’ve been getting really wonderful results with Shiatsu and coaching online, including with some people suffering Covid who noticed a huge improvement and lessening of symptoms after sessions of shiatsu. It has been a good support in helping to them in overcoming the virus. Coaching has also helped those now redirecting their energy in life as a result of changing situations for them. Its also been very helpful for those with long-term illness’s such as diabetes in the successful management of their condition. Have a look at my website http://www.soulfulliving.ie and my facebook Soulful Living page for testimonials or get in touch for more details
JANUARY 2021 – SOULFUL OASIS
In January I will be starting a “Soulful Oasis” open to anyone looking for great health and to reduce stress levels.
Every week we will be engaging in mindful movement classes to target specific organs and body systems. It will combine my extensive knowledge of training in yoga, qigong, shiatsu self massage which I’ve done now for numerous years and somatic stress-release based practices (which I’m currently finalising a training in).
It will also include a Fortnightly group coaching session focused on health, wellbeing and life coaching.
Each month you will also receive a 50% discount coupon on a shiatsu distance session. This means that you can avail of a session for 30 euro instead of the usual 60 euro. This discount can be passed to a friend or family member.
Get in touch for more details. Contact: emer@soulfulliving.ie
