Freeing yourself From Negative Bias.

It is so important in life to live your life in happiness, in serenity and more in alignment with your values, whatever they may be. It so important to let yourself be free in changing your mind and really loving yourself throughout the process. Sometimes you try something out and realise that it’s really not for you. This can apply to anything. Are you able to be kind enough to say “I tried this out and I thought it was for me. It isn’t what it seemed to be and I want to honour who I am and step away from it or to find something different that is more in alignment with my values and that honours me more”. Are you able to do that without getting into a negative story about it and allowing yourself to realise that ultimately all is well? Are you able to see that one door closing opens other possibilities and opportunities up? Life is all about perspective.

I have had a couple of realisations like that of late and I find that life is opening up for me in a different way and that I’m coming into a new depth and appreciation of my life and of life in general. You could easily get into a negative spiral when something in your life is changing because we are creatures primarily of habit and negative bias. You realise when you train in health and wellbeing coaching, our minds are kind of hardwired that way. You tend to think in terms of negative to protect yourself within life. This was definitely essentiel for our evolution during the Stone Age for example but perhaps not so useful in your day to day life. However, when really look after yourself, work on yourself and open up to the possibility that a certain situation may not mean what you think it means, possibilities open up that you may not have even considered previously. Life begins to feel full of beauty, possibility and pleasant  surprises once more. When you really trust yourself in life and within the process of change life feels satisfying. When you let other peoples actions be their actions. When you have good boundaries and take responsibility for being honourable and focusing on yourself, life feels empowering and inspiring. You can reach out then to others from a more nourished and authentic space.

I’m doing a short course with the Poet David Whyte at the moment and by coincidence a similar theme is running through his work, Autumnal change is in the air I suppose! He speaks in his work about the importance of  allowing silence to find you and to allow yourself in life “to drink from a deeper well”, and not engage in things that make or keep you small “be brave enough to walk away from that which isn’t good for you”. Even if it is as simple as to not engage in a conversation that you don’t really want to have with someone, you always have that choice and we should really value our choices within life.  Innocence he deems as being our ability to be refound by the world and you should be free he insists to find yourself today, in a way that you didn’t find yourself yesterday at all, which I find very touching, freeing and true. When we do this, life is more open and its easier to throw away certain habits. Listening to David Whyte as he lets Sonnets flow and draws from a deep well of literary knowledge reminds me very much of listening to my own father who was also a talented poet when he was alive. My Dad had such depth, wisdom and he was such a learned man who also was incredibly humble and kind. He loved to recite different works and draw from his own deep well.  He too would have cautioned me to beware of “easy answers”, things that don’t really ring true or that make us small. He too would have encouraged to be brave enough to ask the questions to take you where you want to go. Our ancestors gave us so many things to be grateful for. As a woman now I can also draw from my own deep well and truly enjoy and take pleasure in what I find there. I’m feeling a real sense of gratitude in my life and a desire to savour and bring acceptance to what is.